Animorphs VS Lord of the Rings
by Eveilae
Summary: Supposed to be funny....whatever....try it out. ok...Flame or whatever, just review...PG for bad language *hurts Crayak*
1. Meeting the Stars: Part 1

A/N: HI!!! This is kinda stupid now.and maybe will be in later chapters too but..oh well.DIE- oh wait.sorry.Uh, you probably won't know who all the characters are till I'm done with all the Parts of Meeting the Stars. Ok? Got that? Good.Diiiiiiiiie!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Ring characters or the Animorph characters. I DO own the following characters: Gwen/Narrator (or HOPEFULLY I own MYSELF..), The Men in the white coats, TLWS (The Little White Snail) and Cook. Thank for you time and cooperation. (Hehe.Always wanted to say that).  
  
@_@_Meeting the Stars: Part 1_@_@  
  
Jake: Hello. We are-  
  
*Pop*  
  
Boromir: HELLO! I'm back! Y'all miss me? I'm a ghost but still!  
  
Aragorn: *gives Boromir a big manly hug* (Narrator was threaten with death to add 'manly' by an unknown person)  
  
Animorphs (except Ax) and Pippin, Merry, Legolas and Gollum: Awwwwww.  
  
Arwen: *slaps Aragorn and disappears back to Gondor*  
  
Aragorn: *clutches cheek and sobs*  
  
Boromir: *comforts Aragorn*  
  
Marco: *giggles*  
  
Rachel: *nudges Marco with elbow*  
  
Frodo: *sighs* Can, uh..move along?  
  
Narrator: OK, here we are-  
  
Pippin: Who are you?  
  
Narrator: Me.  
  
Merry: Who are you exactly?  
  
Narrator: *sigh* What is this, 20 questions?  
  
All of LOTR people and Ax: What are 20 questions?  
  
Narrator: FINE! I'll give myself a name!  
  
Gwen: Happy now? C-  
  
Everyone: Yes.  
  
Gwen: Grrr.You do not want me to unleash my keyboard power against you!!  
  
Marco: *giggles*  
  
Gwen: *Grows big and blue and creepy looking and pretty like Galadriel in the movie* DO NOT TEMPT ME!  
  
Marco: *quivers in despair*  
  
Rachel: *giggles*  
  
Gwen: *shrinks back to herself and returns to regular color*  
  
Marco: *mutters* Why does she not punish Rachel?  
  
Gwen: (who heard him through author magic) 'Cause she's my favorite character and is better than you so *evil cackle* muhahahahahahahaha!  
  
*Silence*  
  
Gwen: Okay.Gosh, you can at least PRETEND to be entertained!  
  
*More Silence*  
  
Gwen: What are you all, statues? Ok, let's begin. On the Animorphs side there is: Jake. The leader of the Animorphs. Tell us a little about yourself, Jake.  
  
*Two chairs appear and Gwen and Jake sit down*  
  
Jake: I was born-  
  
Gwen: *clears throat* Uh, a little.not a biography on your life!  
  
Jake: *nods* Oh! Ok, sorry. My name is Jake. That's my first name, obviously. I can't tell you my last name. I would be too dangerous. The Controllers are everywhere. Everywhere. And if they knew my full name, they could find me and my friends, and then. well, let's just say what they do to people who resist them is too horrible to think about-  
  
Gwen: *snore*  
  
Jake: *Clears throat* Uh, excuse me? I'm in the middle of tell a story here.  
  
Gwen: *stirs awake* Oh, sorry. I've just read this part so many times it begins to bore me.  
  
Cassie: What do you mean read this part? Read it where? It's out in the public?!  
  
Gwen: Uh.how do you think you got here in the first place?  
  
Cassie: *stands in thought full silence* Um.good point.  
  
Gwen: Ok.Next-  
  
Jake: *whines* but I haven't gotten to the best part yet.  
  
Gwen: *glares at him*  
  
Jake: *stands up and runs towards the others, sobbing and muttering about curses and such*  
  
Gwen: *sigh* As I was saying, Next is: Rachel. She's better than all the others-  
  
All the Animorphs but Rachel: HEY!  
  
Gwen: Sorry! *under her breath* But she is.  
  
Rachel: COOL! Can I start?  
  
Gwen: Be my guest. And remember what happened to the eighth Animorph.  
  
The Animorphs: The eighth Animorph?  
  
Gwen: No one knew who he was, of coarse. He's a nothlit. He got stuck in morph even before Tobias and was little part of the story so KA Applegate didn't put him in. And since you are a part of her mind-  
  
The Animorphs: ??  
  
Gwen: *rolls her eyes* Idiots. To get to the point, he's now known as TLWS or The Little White Snail-  
  
Pippin: MY little white snail? MY TLWS?!  
  
Gwen: *nod* Yes, YOUR TLWS.  
  
Pippin: *sniffle* I'm so proud. I never knew he was a superhero! He's my hero!  
  
Gwen: Okay, Pippin.You're one of my favorite character but.TRY AND LET ME TALK!  
  
Pippin: *meekly* Ok.  
  
Gwen: TLWS is going to moniter your advancement while I'm out doing stuff. Y'know.  
  
Rachel: Uh.I CAN start, right?  
  
Gwen: *nods* Uh huh.  
  
Rachel: *sits down where Jake sat* My name is Rachel. I won't tell you my last name. None of us will ever tell you our last names. Whenever I do use a last name it will be fake. Sorry but that's the way it has to be And-  
  
Jake: BERENSON!!! IT'S BERENSON!!!!!!!!! *runs around, screaming*  
  
Men in white coats: UH, excuse me. Someone called and said we can take this guy away.  
  
Gwen: How'd you get in here?! *glares at the others* Who called?!  
  
David: *takes out his cell phone* Sorry.  
  
Gwen: *sigh* I suppose it's for the best.  
  
Men in white coats: *drag Jake away*  
  
Jake: NOOOOOOO!!! YEERKS!!!!!!! SAVE MEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Cassie: *sobs hysterically*  
  
Rachel: *stands and walks calmly to comfort Cassie*  
  
Gwen: *looks over at the half asleep LOTR bunch* Poor guys.*turning back to the Animorphs* LISTEN UP! Next is: Tobias. *flutters her eyelashes* Hi..  
  
Tobias: *awkwardly* Uh.hi.  
  
Gwen: *waves and smiles shyly*  
  
Rachel: Grr..You trying to take ma man?!  
  
Gwen: *turns to Rachel* YOUR man?  
  
Marco: *chants* JERRY JERRY!!  
  
Gwen and Rachel: SHUT UP, Marco!  
  
Marco: ok.  
  
Tobias: Uh.I'll begin now..  
  
Gwen: *glaring at Rachel* Ok.good.*then she turns back to Tobias, staring at him*  
  
Tobias: *giving Gwen a weird look* UH.My name is Tobias. A freak of nature. One of a kind.  
  
Gollum: I feel your pain, dude!  
  
Tobias: *giving Gollum a weird look too* I won't tell you my last name. I CAN'T tell you my last name-  
  
Gimili: Are we just going to keep hearing this over and over?!  
  
Gwen: *muttering* Now you know what we Animorphs fans went through. *To Animorphs* yeah, change it a little.  
  
Tobias: *stands and walks to the others*  
  
Gwen: *giving Tobias one last loving look turns back the LOTR bunch* Ok.Next is: Cassie!  
  
Cassie: *stumbles to the chair, eyes read and poofy*  
  
Gwen: Begin, please.  
  
Cassie: I love Jake. Jake I love. Love I Jake. I Jake love. Jake love I. Love Jake I.  
  
Gwen: *falters* Uh..David? Can you call the Men in the white coats again?  
  
David: *speed dials them*  
  
Marco: Why does David have the Men in the white coats on his speed dial?  
  
Tobias: *shrug*  
  
Men in the white coats: *take Cassie away*  
  
Cassie: JAKE I LOVE!!!!!!! JAKE HAVE I LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
LOTR bunch: Wierdos.  
  
Gwen: *shaken with having two members taken away* Ok.Next on the list is.Marco.  
  
Marco: *sits down in the chair* My name is Marco. People call me Marco the Magnificent. Marvelous Marco. The Amazing Marco. And of coarse, all the girls just call me gorgeous.  
  
Eowyn: *runs up to Marco and puts her sword to his throat* Think again, fool!  
  
Marco: Rachel! I think I've met your long lost twin sister.  
  
Gwen: Eowyn. You rock and are the best but please do not decapitate your enemy. It's not very nice.  
  
Eowyn: Ok.fine. *goes back to the others*  
  
Gwen: May that teach you, Marco!  
  
Marco: *walks back to the others, shaken*  
  
Gwen: Here is Ax.  
  
Ax: *stands next to the chair*{The first thing an Andalite may notice about humans is that they walk on only two legs. It is very strange to see so many creatures balancing that way. But, despite this, they seldom fall over.}  
  
Everyone: *snore snore*  
  
Ax: {I do believe they have fallen asleep.There must be sleeping gas in the air! AN ATTACK!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!}  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Ax: {We haven't been attacked with sleeping gas?}  
  
Gwen: *yawn* Uh, not really.  
  
Ax: {Oh..ok}  
  
Gwen: *sigh* It is time for the commercials now! BREAK! CUT! ok! Need to apply my makeup again.  
  
Rachel: You're wearing makeup? You look like a twelve year old!  
  
Gwen: That's what I am, Rachel..And good point.I don't wear makeup.still, LUNCH BREAK!  
  
Cook: There are cookies in the kitchen as a snack! *gets trampled by Ax who gobbles up the cookies as soon as he's in human morph again*  
  
*STATIC*  
  
*BLACK*  
  
  
  
A/n: Would it be alright to say this: PLEEEEEESE review.one..two little clicks and a few pressing of the letters and I will continue.If I get lots of flames I'll continue anyway just to piss people off.muhahahahahahaha! ok.I'm shut up now. 


	2. Meeting the Stars Part 2 and The Race

Disclaimer: I own the same characters as in the last chapter AND the follow: Eowyn's magic horse and the name Ganfluff.ok.that's about it.DUN DUN DUN.for now!  
  
@_@_Meeting the Stars: Part 2 AND The Race_@_@  
  
Gwen: Ok. We're back. Ax has successfully eaten all the cookies and trampled Cook-  
  
Cook: *groans* Ugh.curse you..alien.  
  
Ax: {Oops. My mistake.}  
  
Gwen: OK guys, we're STILL not done with the Animorph part, ok?  
  
LOTR people: *groan*  
  
Pippin: A'int it time for tea?  
  
Hobbits: *chant* Tea *stomp stomp* TEA! *stomp stomp*  
  
Gwen: *gets all Galadriel* SHUT UP!  
  
Hobbits: *shrink back* Sorry.  
  
Gwen: Here is David, the Animorph who tried to kill both Rachel and Tobias. *glares at David*  
  
David: *grins sheepishly* Oops?  
  
Gwen: Grrr.Just begin.  
  
David: Ok.I'm here for Jake, since.uh.he had to be removed..*clears throat* Let me tell you guys what mighty Rachel here did to me. Put yourselves in my shoes. I'm a kid, okay? Then aliens steal my parents and bam, my whole world is destroyed. I can never go home. Never see my parents again.  
  
Gwen: Quit the sob story, David. Get to the freakin' point. We all know you just are an evil little..I don't know what you are.  
  
David: *glares at Gwen* Rachel here holds a fork to my ear and threatens me. Later, she promises to kill me.  
  
Rachel: *mutters* And you would deserve it.  
  
Gwen: AHHH! Let's hope the LOTR bunch are better behaved! David, get outta my SIGHT!  
  
David: *sniffle* I was getting to good part too.  
  
Gwen: Grr..  
  
David: *backs away* Sorry, sorry.no harm meant.  
  
Gwen: *massages temples* Ok, here is Crayak. He's here for Cassie.  
  
Crayak: Thank you, thank you very much *in Elvis accent*  
  
Gwen: *sigh* Please, hurry, the Hobbits want tea time.They get violent.  
  
Crayak: *shoots the Hobbits a look* Uh.ok.I'm a big red eye. Sauron is my dog! Or was before SOMEONE *clears throat and glares at Frodo and Sam* destroyed his favorite chew toy!  
  
Animorphs: *exchange confused looks* Dog? Crayak has a dog?  
  
Crayak: Yes.Sauron was all cute. I gave him a world to mess up and then these dopes *points to Frodo and Sam* destroyed his evil plan to take over the world! They ruined his chance to be a perfectly good villain!  
  
Gwen: Okaaay.now that you're done, sit down with the rest of the Animorphs. Now we will get to the LOTR people.  
  
Lotr people: *cheer*  
  
Gwen: Okay. First we have to decide how many will stay. I think there are to many of you. We need to be fair!  
  
Legolas: I get dibs of the brushes!  
  
Gwen: Legolas. Shut your mouth.  
  
Legolas: *quivers*  
  
Gwen: Ok.On the Animorphs we have..uh.uh.*counts in head* Rachel, Tobias, Marco, Ax, David and Crayak.that's.uh..six! On the LOTR people we have.Legolas, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Aragorn, Merry, Gandalf, Boromir, Gollum, Gimli and Eowyn. Okay.Gollum, that's one..  
  
Aragorn: You will chose that maggot over the king?!  
  
Gwen: *stands up slowly and trembles with anger* Maggot?! Did you just call GOLLUM a MAGGOT?!  
  
Lotr people: *move away from Aragorn*  
  
Aragorn: *nods* yep!  
  
Gwen: *roars* DIE DIE DIE! I use my DIE power on you! Mix that with my keyboard people and-  
  
Aragorn: *turns into Old McDonald* AHHHH!  
  
Animorphs and David: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Gwen: OK, number two is..Eowyn.  
  
Eowyn: *gives Legolas a raspberry* Haha! I TOLD you I'm better than you!  
  
Legolas: *pouts*  
  
Gwen: Three, Pippin.  
  
Pippin: *sulks* Tea time.*sniff*  
  
Gwen: *rolls her eyes* Four, Gandalf.  
  
Bill: *breaks into the room* Hi!  
  
Sam: BILL! MY FRIEND!!!  
  
Bill: AHHH! No one told me HE would be here! AHHHH!!! BODYGUARD!  
  
Shadowfox: You shall not enter!!!  
  
Sam: *hides behind Frodo*  
  
Bill: *laughs*  
  
Pippin: Tea time?  
  
Gwen: Uh..Bill.you weren't invited.But.OK you're number five.  
  
Bill: KEWL! *walks over to the others*  
  
Gwen: Hmm.for number six? Ok.the already picked LOTR people vote. Pippin?  
  
Pippin: *writes on paper and shows it to everyone. It reads: Merry*  
  
Gwen: Eowyn?  
  
Eowyn: Merry  
  
Gwen: Bill?  
  
Bill: *hee haw* Uh..Frodo!  
  
Sam: Noooooooooo!  
  
Gwen: Gandalf?  
  
Gandalf: *drunk...somehow.*Uh..Uh..Uh..JOHN SMITH!  
  
Gwen: I don't think so.  
  
Gandalf: Who am I? Who are you? Where am I?  
  
Gwen: ARG!!!! GANDALF!  
  
Gandalf: Yes?  
  
Gwen: PICK SOMEONE!  
  
Gandalf: UH..the cute little short one.  
  
Sam: Me?  
  
Gandalf: Ewww.no.the other one.  
  
Legolas: *whispers to Gimli* I should have known. Even when Gandalf's drunk, Frodo's still his favorite.  
  
Gimli: *nod*  
  
Frodo: Me?  
  
Gandalf: No way in Moria! That one *points to Merry*  
  
Sam: *gasp* MERRY's cuter than me?!  
  
Frodo: Merry! You stole my part!!!  
  
Merry: Uh..oops?  
  
Gwen: Ok.bye bye rest of you!  
  
Aragorn: Aren't you going to turn me back?  
  
Gwen: No.  
  
Aragorn: *sobs*  
  
*The rest of the LOTR people fade*  
  
Gwen: Ok.Lotr people intros now..Uh..first comes.GOLLUM!  
  
Gollum: Ooooo.pretty flower- uh.what was de question?  
  
Gwen: Introduce yourself, please  
  
Gollum: Ok! I was born. I ran away. I went to the doctor and tried to find my mother but didn't. Then I worked in Barbie Mountain and took over the store and made a Barbie of myself and then it got boring so I quit. *deep breathe* Long sentence. Then I worked in McDonalds but got fired cause I poisoned the food. My life. The End.  
  
Gwen: Ooookay. Wonderful, Gollum. NEXT: Eowyn.  
  
Eowyn: I wanted Aragorn. I got Boromir's brother. What's his name? OH YEAH! FARAMIR! I'm a queen, kind of. A Steward Queen! SO HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Gwen: Please. You can stop there. Now, here is PIPPIN!!!  
  
Eowyn: I'm not finished! *whines and pouts*  
  
Gwen: I will get all creepy and turn you into.uh..uh..a monkey!  
  
Eowyn: What's a monkey?  
  
Gwen: UH..Something that is eaten by.uh...HORSES!  
  
Eowyn: NOOO.ANYTHING BUT THAT! I'm allergic to horses!  
  
Gwen: Then do not tempt me!!!!!!  
  
Pippin: My turn?  
  
Gwen: *nod*  
  
Pippin: Uh..Uh.I like tea and food in general. When's tea time? And lunch? And supper? And dinner-  
  
Gwen: *stares* If I didn't worship you, Pippin, I would turn you into 'something unnatural'.  
  
Pippin: *pouts*  
  
Gwen: OK, how about Merry next?  
  
Merry: *stuffing himself down a hole*  
  
Gwen: Merry? Where'd he go? *anime sweat drop*I guess we'll skip him for the sake of time.Bill? Do us the honor?  
  
Bill: OK. May I begin by saying I hate Sam?  
  
Gwen: Please. No negative thoughts. With the exception of me.  
  
Bill: OK.I'm done.  
  
Gwen: *sigh* FINE! No one on the LOTR side wants to talk.  
  
Eowyn: *raises hand* I do! Oooo.Oooo.I do, I do!!!  
  
Gwen: *ignores Eowyn* Ganfluff? I mean Gandalf?  
  
Gandflu-GanDALF: I want a boo-boo bandage. I think I have a boo boo on my finger.  
  
Gwen: Gandalf.it's fluff.  
  
Gandalf: Still.I like boo boo bandages.  
  
Gwen: EVERYONE!!!!! SHUT UP!!!  
  
*cricket cricket*  
  
Gwen: Thank you. Now that THAT's over *wipes brow* Ok.I have.*sigh* SUMMER reading to do. Imagine that! Having HOMEWORK during the SUMMER.That's a sin. *mutters darkly*  
  
TLWS: *clears throat*  
  
Gwen: Oh yeah. TLWS will be your guide this evening. Enjoy!  
  
*Room disappears and they appear in a field*  
  
Everyone: WOW!  
  
Gwen: Ok, be back after I finish my books..Which is in..a few days. I love ma books *hugs books*  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Gwen: *gives them all her glasses glare* Gr.. idiots. *disappears*  
  
TLWS: OK, people. On your sides! We will have to race first! *set people up*  
  
*Five hours later*  
  
TLWS: READY NOW?!  
  
Marco: No, I need more water!  
  
TLWS: That's your fifth cup!  
  
Marco: I drained it.  
  
TLWS: Suck it up man!  
  
Marco: *mumble*  
  
TLWS: Ready?  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
TLWS: *ignored them* Set!  
  
Everyone: *mumble*  
  
TLWS: GOOOOO!  
  
Marco: *races off with his stick thingy*  
  
Pippin: *turns on engine on his plastic legs and zooms past Marco with stick thingy in hand*  
  
Marco: *coughs smoke*  
  
Pippin: *passes the stick thingy to Gandalf*  
  
Gandalf: *uses his staff as a pogo stick*  
  
Marco: *finally reaches Rachel and gives her the stick*  
  
Rachel: *catches up with Gandalf with Xena strength and kicks his staff so it falls and Gandalf falls to the ground*  
  
Gandalf: OW! BOO BOO!  
  
Rachel: *passes stick thingy to David*  
  
David da Boy: Let me race! I'm a bigger body!  
  
David da Rat: So? I have the brain!  
  
David da Boy and da Rat: *fight*  
  
Gandalf: *passes stick thingy to Merry, limping because of a boo boo on his other finger*  
  
Merry: *tries to turn on engine thingy on his plastic legs but he forgot to fill it up after the last road trip*  
  
David da Boy: *Chokes David da Rat*  
  
David da Rat: *gurgle* I WILL be avenged! *shrivels up*  
  
David da Boy: *runs with stick thingy*  
  
Merry: *cartwheels towards next person*  
  
David da Boy: *trips and crashes into Merry*  
  
Merry: *flies into air and lands on Gollum*  
  
Gollum: Oof! My bones! MY BONES!!!!!!!!  
  
David da Boy: *lies knocked out*  
  
Gollum: *takes a step and decides to take a nap*  
  
David da Boy: *wakes up* Move..must..move.*drags himself to Ax*  
  
Ax: *runs over Gollum*  
  
Gollum: *wakes up* Oof! Not again! My poor poor bones! *gets up*  
  
Ax: *uses evil, discarded tail/stalk eye power and learns how to make a paper plane*  
  
Gollum: *takes a step a minute and in between takes a nap to get a nice tan*  
  
Ax: *calls Hemacrons on his Andalite cell and they come and shrink him*  
  
Gollum: *slowly catches up to the busy Andalite*  
  
Ax: *gets into paper plane and rides to the next hand off*  
  
Gollum: *faints three inches from the handoff line*  
  
Tobias: *squishes Ax with his talons while grabbing stick thingy* Oops.Sorry Ax-man!  
  
Ax: agggg..THE PAIN!! THE AGONY!!!  
  
Gollum: *moves slightly to make his fake faint more dramatic*  
  
Eowyn: *snatches stick things and jumps onto suddenly appearing horse* YEEHAW!!!  
  
Tobias: *somehow crashes into a tree* OUCH!  
  
Eowyn: *gives Bill the stick thingy*  
  
Bill: *drops it* Oops.  
  
Tobias: *throws stick thingy to Crayak*  
  
Crayak: *sends deadly dropping curse on Bill and runs off*  
  
Bill: *runs after..and drops stick..AGAIN*  
  
Crayak: *cackles*  
  
Bill: *feeling something on his head* EWWWWW!!! Pigeons are like SOOO YUCKY!!! *walks off track to the men's room*  
  
LOTR people: BILL!! NO!!!  
  
Crayak: *crosses finish line* I WIN!!!  
  
TLWS: No you don't.  
  
Crayak: Yes, I do.I beat Bill.  
  
TLWS: SO? That means you lost. Whoever won the race, would lose the game.Logically.  
  
Rachel: You're just saying that because Pippin's you master.  
  
TLWS: Good point. 


	3. America Idol: Animorph style

Disclaimer: Must you waste my time on this dumb stuff. Even if you DID sue me, and somehow won (with the help of your Hork-Bajir lawyer) you would win all my money which is about.2 dollars. Good job! But you wouldn't win anyway. So SHHHHH! But really I should say Gaia Moore belongs to Francine Pascal! And Neil belongs to Robin Jarvis! Yeah, he's from the Wyrd Musuem books.Knife, John Smith, TLWS and is mine though. Oh yeah, Crayak's song is The Grouch by Green Day.  
  
@_@_America Idol-Ani-LOTR style_@_@  
  
Rachel: *sigh* So, what's next?  
  
TLWS: Well, I'm going to the meeting of Snails Anonymous so another friend of Gwen's will come to help you with your.well.mission.  
  
Crayak: Who is it?! *shivers*  
  
TLWS: It is..uh.Knife, Gwen's invisible friend from second grade!  
  
POOF!  
  
Knife: *grin* Die- I mean, HI! That came out wrong didn't it? *hides knife*  
  
Everyone, 'cept TLWS and Knife: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Knife: What?  
  
Everyone else: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Knife: MY EARS!!!!!! MY POOR POOR EARS!!!!! SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAVE ME!!!  
  
Rachel: *morphs monkey and throws coconuts at Knife's head*  
  
Knife: OW! OW! STOP IT!  
  
TLWS: NOBODY MOVE!  
  
Eveyone: *ignore him*  
  
Knife: OW OW OW!!  
  
Animorphs: HAHAHAHHA!  
  
LOTR people: HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
TLWS: Stop! I shall take Knife away and bring in someone else!  
  
Everyone, including Knife: YAH!  
  
Rachel: *throws last coconut at him*  
  
Knife: *runs away, crying* MOMMY! MOMMY!  
  
TLWS: No one is safe.*mutters darkly* Who? Who else is available at the moment? Hm.Tal and Milla from Seventh Tower? Nah, they're off in that other story. How about James from Soon Be Free? No, he's in collage. I KNOW! Gaia Moore from Fearless, she's always ready! Anyway, she owes me for not telling anyone about the time she ate a peanut and it shot out her nose and poked some kid's eye out.  
  
Everyone: WHO?  
  
TLWS: Don't you people READ?  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
TLWS: I'M LATE! Gaia'll be by in a little while! CYA! *disappears*  
  
Merry: TWLS is such a nice snail.  
  
Pippin: Yes, very nice and respectable.  
  
POOF!  
  
Gaia Moore: Who are you?  
  
David: Oooooo! Pretty! What's your name?  
  
Gaia: *beats up David*  
  
David: Ugh..help me.*faints*  
  
Rachel: *cheers*  
  
Gaia and Rachel: *gasp*  
  
Rachel: You're me!  
  
Gaia: And you're me!  
  
Rachel: I said it first!  
  
Gaia: NU UH! I DID!  
  
Rachel: NO!  
  
Gaia: Oh yeah?  
  
Rachel: YEAH!  
  
Gaia: Bring it!  
  
Marco: *plays peacemaker and makes Rachel and Gaia give each other big hugs* Tobias.*whispers to Tobias.DUH* You can have Rachel, I'll keep the other one.  
  
Gaia: *hears it and beats Marco up*  
  
Marco: Ugh! *faints and lands on top of David*  
  
Rachel: *glares at Gaia*  
  
Gaia: *mutters something*  
  
POOF!  
  
Crayak: AH HA! The Ellimist!  
  
John Smith: Actually I'm John Smith dressed up as the Ellimist! HE's so COOL!  
  
Gaia: *gets in kung fu pose*  
  
John Smith: AHHH! Don't hurt me! I'm here as an advisor!  
  
Gaia: Advisor for what?  
  
John: For what you have to do! Ok, here it is people.*turns to LOTR and Animorphs people* You have to do your own little American Idol, here.  
  
David: But none of us can sing!  
  
John: That's too bad..Now, this is how it goes.The Animorph people do their own thing, as do the LOTR people. The winners of each see who is better. Got it? Good. NOW GET TO IT!  
  
Gaia: And me?  
  
John: You're a judge, along with me and Neil.  
  
POOF!  
  
Neil: *British*Hello! Who are you all?  
  
Everyone: HI! We're special!  
  
Neil: Uhhh.Interesting.Can I leave now?  
  
John: No.You have to judge the singers.  
  
Gaia: I get a feeling it's gonna be hard to be a good judge. They're all gonna suck.  
  
Everyone: HEY!  
  
John: *looks at watch* We're short on time so.I'll call out a name, pick a song and sing. Over with quickly.  
  
Marco: That's not American Idol!  
  
John: Oh well. *passes paper to Gaia* Read.  
  
Gaia: Maryanne.Garth Nix..Tellytubbies.Who are these people?!  
  
John: *takes back paper* Oh wait.that's Gwen's evil list.*passes another paper* Here. This is it.  
  
Gaia: Period one, Shop.Period two, Reading-  
  
John: *takes back paper* Last year's schedule *passes another paper*  
  
Gaia: OK, finally.First is.Crayak!  
  
Crayak: Oh man!  
  
John: Now, LOTR people.you sit and watch! QUIETLY!  
  
LOTR: *sit on benches and fight for all the seats*  
  
Five years later  
  
John: LOTR people! You all got seats yet?  
  
Lotr people: *muffled* Uh huh!  
  
Bill: HEY! THAT'S MY TAIL!!!  
  
Merry: Is it my fault you're eating my foot hairs?!  
  
Bill: I thought it was hay.  
  
Gaia: ENOUGH!!!  
  
CRICKET CRICKET  
  
John: Begin Crayak..  
  
Crayak: *clears throat* I was a young boy that had big plans. Now I'm just another shitty old man. I don't have fun and I hate everything. This world owes me so fuck you. *stick out middle finger, GASP* Glory days don't mean shit to me. I drank a six-pack of apathy. Life's a bitch and so am I. The world owes me so fuck you. *does it again, GASP!* Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals. I had a young and optimistic point of view. Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.  
  
Neil: This should be censored, you know! All those bad words!  
  
John: Where did you learn such language?  
  
Gaia: Can we judge now?  
  
John: *nod* You got first, Gaia. Then me, then Neil.  
  
Neil: I WANNA GO SECOND!!!  
  
John: Oh well.  
  
Gaia: That was vulgar and unacceptable! SO HA!!! You suck at singing anyway!  
  
Crayak: Hello? Ever notice I'm a big eye? BIG EYES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD SINGERS! They're EVIL!!! EVIL, I TELL YOU!!!!  
  
John: No talking back to the judges *tsk tsk*  
  
Crayak: Gr..  
  
John: OK, so here is what I have to say. You will never win a singing contest. EVER. Ok? You sucked big time and my ears are still ringing from the badness of this song.  
  
Marco: Is badness a word? It sounds like baldness..  
  
Gaia and Rachel: Shut up.  
  
Neil: MY TURN!!! MY TURN!!!  
  
John: *sigh*  
  
Neil: You suck! *clap clap* You suck! *clap clap* You suck-  
  
Crayak: ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SILENCE  
  
Crayak: Thank you.  
  
Gaia: *sigh* Get off the stange!  
  
Crayak: There's a stage? *looks down* Oh.  
  
Gaia: *waits*  
  
Crayak: Oh..right.*walks off the stage*  
  
Gaia: Next.Ax.  
  
Ax: *gets on stage*  
  
John: Begin.  
  
Ax: *morphs human* *does Jimmy Fallon's Idiot Boyfriend (can't remember the words!)* 'Cause I'm an idiot.And I'm your boyfriend!  
  
Gaia: Well.That was.disturbing. Ax, humping the air. Very weird.  
  
John: Really? I was imagining the grandma there.  
  
Neil: Hello? What we're here for?  
  
Gaia and John: Oh yeah..  
  
Gaia: That was a good impression of..a weird song. But Ok, nonetheless.Unless you count the humping the air thing.  
  
John: I agree. But it was funny! *giggles and falls on the floor*  
  
Everyone: *stares at John*  
  
John: *gets up calmly and sits back down* It's your turn Neil.  
  
Neil: Ok.That was weird and lemme think...STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS!!!!!!! NO WONDER YOU"RE AN ALIEN!!!!!!! WEIRDO!!!! WEIRDO!!!! WEI-  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP!!!!!!  
  
Neil: ok.  
  
Gaia: Let's get this over with.*reads* Tobias.  
  
Tobias: *gulp*  
  
Neil: GO GO GO!!  
  
Tobias: *hawk screams a Beethoven song*  
  
John: That's a new one.  
  
Gaia: *nod* Very.uh.different.  
  
John: What she said.  
  
Neil: *hides cookies* UH..GREAT! What was it again?  
  
Gaia: OK.HURRY!!! HURRY!!!  
  
Neil: *steals paper* MINE MINE MINE! Next is...DAVID! SO HAHAHAHAHAHA! Who's David?  
  
Rachel: David's knocked out still.  
  
John: No time! We have to finish this before 1:00, or else Gwen is finished!  
  
Rachel: OK..who's next then?  
  
Gaia: Marco!  
  
Marco: *just woke up*  
  
Gaia: SING!!!  
  
Marco: *groggy* Uh? Ok..Old McDonald had a farm, eieio!  
  
Gaia: That was dumb but too late to change it!  
  
John: Yeah! *throws tomato*  
  
Marco: OW!!!!!!  
  
Neil: *snore snore*  
  
Marco: *hangs head*  
  
Gaia: Rachel, HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!  
  
Rachel: *nods and dances* Wanna Fanta, don't you wanna wanna Fanta.Don't wanna Fanta.Blue Berry Extreme!  
  
Gaia: *stares at Rachel in fear*  
  
John: *laughing his head off*  
  
Neil: *wakes up* What did I miss?!  
  
Who will be the Animorphs winner? Will Bill eat all of Merry's feet hair? Will David EVER wake up? Will any of the Animorphs ever learn to sing? AND, most important of all..Will Neil ever find out what he missed?  
  
Find out.uh.uh.One day! KNIFE IS MY FRIEND!!!!! 


	4. American Idol: LOTR style

Disclaimer: Yes, I know Picledee. He's my father!..Uh, don't ask. Anyway, I really don't own Twit OR Picledee, unfortunately for me, fortunately for everyone else. Robin Jarvis owns them, and Jerry Spinelli own Stargirl. KA Applegate owns the Animorphs and Tolkien owns the LOTR people. Francine Pascal owns Gaia and Robin Jarvis once again owns Neil (although without the weird personality). John is MINE!!!!!! MINE I TELL YOU!!!! Laura and Steph/Sickgirl, own themselves, only part of their personalities is made up. Uh..anyone else? Oh yeah, Gabriel's from Shadow People, owned by Joyce McDonald. Simon is from the Sevenwaters Trilogy, owned by Juliet Marillier. Laura's brother owns himself. And Kit is owned by Diane Duane, from the Young Wizards Series.  
  
***American Idol-LOTR style***  
  
  
  
Rachel: *crosses fingers* Maybe I'll win.Maybe-  
  
Marco: *snickers* I doubt it!  
  
Rachel: At least I was more than half awake when I sang!  
  
Marco: Hey, it's not my fault little Miss Kung-fu Gal decided to knock me out!  
  
Rachel: Yes, it is.  
  
Marco: Grrr.  
  
Neil: STOP! We need silence!  
  
Gaia: We do?  
  
John: *shrug* I guess, that's what they do in the movies.  
  
Neil: Good point. Onward, march!  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Neil: *mutters* Forget it.  
  
Gaia, John and Neil: *whisper*  
  
Everyone else: *tries to listen*  
  
Gaia: I'll get Kung-Fu on you!  
  
Everyone: AHHHHH!  
  
David: *wakes up* Huh? *sees Gaia* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Gaia: *smirk*  
  
John: *clears throat* We have a decision!  
  
Neil: We do?  
  
Gaia: Shut up!  
  
John: The winner is-  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: Hey, peoples!  
  
John: We were just announcing the winner.  
  
Gwen: I know. And I DO not want Ax to win.  
  
John: But.  
  
Ax: {Yipeeee!}  
  
Gwen: Rachel wins cos she's my favorite character..and plus, I like that commercial.  
  
POOF!  
  
Ax: {Noooooooooo! Come back and change it!!!}  
  
Rachel: No, don't come back!  
  
POOF!  
  
Ax: {YAY!}  
  
Rachel: NOOOO!  
  
Gwen: Oh, yeah.New judges for the LOTR people. Picledee is coming! YAY!!!!! Along with Twit! From The Deptford Mice Trilogy.  
  
Ax: {That's it?}  
  
Gwen: What do you mean 'That's it?'?! That's WONDERFUL news! Picledee is the best! Do not insult him! INSULT HIM AND DIE!!!!!  
  
Gaia: We can leave?  
  
Gwen: Uh huh.  
  
Gaia and John: YAY! *hug each other, jumping up and down*  
  
Neil: Awwwwwwww!  
  
Crayak: Shut up!  
  
Neil: Ok.  
  
Gaia: Hey, isn't there supposed to be THREE judges? You said only two.  
  
Gwen: That's cos.uh..Stargirl's coming!  
  
Everyone: Stargirl?  
  
Gwen: Imebciles! IDIOTS! BUTTHEADS! You all have demented brains! You don't know Stargirl?!  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
Gwen: Grr.Then you'll see!  
  
POOF  
  
Rachel: Where's the exclamation point?  
  
POOF!  
  
Rachel: Oh, ok.  
  
POOF!  
  
Twit: Where are 'e?  
  
Picledee: I'm alive! Wheeee!  
  
Stargirl: You need a Congratulations card!  
  
Twit: Where are 'e?!  
  
Everyone: *shrug* Ask Gwen.  
  
David: She left dimwit!  
  
Voice in sky: No name calling! It hurts people's feelings  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
*no answer*  
  
Everyone: *shrug*  
  
POOF!  
  
Kit: Hello!  
  
Everyone: Hello!  
  
Kit: I'm here to make sure no one kills anyone else. Now, Animorphs get seated.  
  
Animorphs: *muttering move to magical floating chairs in the sky*  
  
Kit: Good. I'm a wizard and I can do horrible things to you if you mess up!  
  
Gandalf: I'm a wizard too!!!!!  
  
Kit: Oh well. *takes out camera*  
  
LOTR peeps: What's that?  
  
Kit: A camera. I have e feeling I'm going to see a Kodak moment soon.  
  
LOTR peep: WTF?  
  
Kit: Forget it. *passes Picledee a paper* Read it.  
  
Piceldee: Just don't step on me! *looks at paper*  
  
Kit: *rolls eyes* Uh huh. Whatever you say..  
  
POOF!  
  
Laura: HEY! Are you all buttheads? Yup, that's what I thought.  
  
Everyone: Who are you?  
  
Laura: Laura.  
  
Everyone: And....  
  
Laura: And I wanted to see Tobias. He's-  
  
POOF!  
  
Steph: HEY Homies!  
  
Laura: STEPH!  
  
Steph: It's SickGIRL!!!!!! Do you guys like GC?  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
Sickgirl: YOU SSSSUUUUCCCKKK.JOEL IS HOTT! SO HOTT BABY!!!!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: Shesh, Steph. These people don't even know who GC is!  
  
Sickgirl: *gasp* they don't know Joel???  
  
Laura: Well, at least they know Nelly, right? Or Missy Elliot. Is it woooorth it.Lemmmme work it.  
  
Gwen: Nope. They're ignorant.  
  
Sickgirl: *Talking to Pippin* Repeat after me. You see them on TV.  
  
Pippin: You see them on Tb.  
  
Sickgirl: Read it in the magazines.  
  
Pippin: Read it in the magazines.  
  
Sickgirl: Celebrities want sympathy.  
  
Pippin: Celebrities want sympathy.  
  
Gwen: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*cricket cricket*  
  
Gwen: Good! Now, since 'Gia' and 'Sickgirl' are here, they might as well help. The judges are Picledee, T-  
  
Laura: PICLEDEE?! MY HUSBAND!!!  
  
Picledee and Laura: *embrace*  
  
Laura: Where did you go? I missed you!  
  
Picledee: *looks around nervously* Well, I don't remember exactly. But I KNOW that I wasn't sleeping with Audrey! I PROMISE! REALLY!!!!!  
  
Laura: *gasp* *smack* PICLEDEE!!!!! You slept with another woman??  
  
Picledee: Well, not really. Audrey's a mouse, not a woman.  
  
Laura: *pushes him and growls* Grrrr.  
  
Gwen: DAD!!! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON LAURA?!  
  
Picldee: Uhhhhhh..UHHHHHHHHHHh!!! UHHHHHHHHHHHHh!  
  
Gwen: You're fired!  
  
Picledee: You can't fire your father!!!!  
  
Gwen: I just did!!!!!  
  
Picledee: Noooooo! You can't do this! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Gwen: Grrr! LEAVE!!!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: He's gone, yay!  
  
POOF!  
  
Simon: Ahhh! Sorcha!  
  
Gwen: *drool* SIMON!  
  
Laura: SO this is Simon?  
  
Sickgirl: Kewl. But Joel is better.  
  
Gwen: Sorcha wasn't for you!! You're MINE, MINE I TELL YOU! MIIIINE!  
  
Simon: Ahhhhhhhh! Save me! Where am I?  
  
Gwen: You're a figment of my imagination.  
  
Laura: I'm not!  
  
Sickgirl: ME TOO!  
  
Gwen: Well, Simon is. GIMME A HUG, SIMON!  
  
Simon: ahhhh!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo! How did he leave! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gabriel: Where am I?  
  
Gwen: Gabriel! I HATE YOU! YOU KEPT GIVING LYDIA THE WRONG MESSAGE DORK!!!!  
  
Gabriel: Hey, I did- Wait. How do you know?!  
  
Gwen: You're a figment of my imagination. And Lydia was the best. I hate Gwen, so ha! Grrrr. I can relate to you, though.  
  
Gwen & Gabriel: *talk*  
  
Everyone: *snooooore*  
  
Gwen: Srry! Ok, Gabriel, stay with the judge. Bye guys!  
  
POOF!  
  
Laura: What about me!  
  
Sickgirl: Jooooel *clap clap* Joooooel *clap clap*  
  
Gwen's voice: You stay here and teach them good songs.  
  
Laura & Sickgirl: Ok!  
  
Gabriel: OK, first up is Eowyn!  
  
Sickgirl: *whispers to Eowyn*  
  
Eowyn: *nods* Ok! I'm a slaaaaaaaaaaaaaave for you.(can't remember rest, just pretend she sings it) *dances slutty*  
  
Marco: Whee!  
  
Rachel: Shut up!  
  
Gabriel: I've never heard of that song.  
  
Laura: Cos you've been in jail.  
  
Gabriel: Oh yeah.  
  
Twit: That was scary.  
  
Kit: Tell me about it.  
  
Laura: *rolls eyes* Go!  
  
Gabriel: Ok next is. Uh.....Pippin!  
  
Sickgirl: *whispers*  
  
Pippin: *nods* It's getting hoooot in here, so take off all your clothes. It's hot in here tonight. I wanna take my clothes oooofff!  
  
Gabriel: I've never heard of that song either.  
  
Laura: ARGGGG!  
  
Kit: God! Sickgirl, stop giving them ideas!!!! STOPSTOPSTOPSOTPSOTPOSPTOPSOPTPOSPOTPOPOP!  
  
Sickgirl: Go pop!  
  
Laura's brother: Dude.  
  
Laura: Where'd you come from?  
  
Laura's Bro: I dunno, dude.  
  
Laura: Leave or I'll tell mom!  
  
Laura's B.: DUDE! *leaves*  
  
Stargirl: Hey, since Gwen just read the script over, and she found I was supposed to be a judge, not Kit. I have only one line!!!!!!!  
  
Kit: Ooops.  
  
Stargirl: That's what they alllll say.  
  
Kit: Uh oh.  
  
Stargirl: *attacks Kit*  
  
Kit: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Stargirl: *gets into chair* Let the games begin!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!! 


	5. American Idol: LOTR style, Part 2

Disclaimers: Most in chapters b4, except for: Nita, who is owned by Diana Duane, and The Pineapple Army, who is owned by MOI! PINEAPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
NOTE: Mostly for me than for anyone else, here's a list of all the people. People with little stars next to them, are new in this chapter. People with a wiggly thing next to them are leaving this chapter.  
  
LOTR PEOPLE:  
  
Pippin  
  
Merry  
  
Eowyn  
  
Gollum  
  
Gandalf  
  
Bill  
  
ANIMORPHS PEOPLE:  
  
Rachel  
  
Marco  
  
Tobias  
  
David  
  
Crayak  
  
Ax  
JUDGES:  
  
Stargirl  
  
Twit  
  
Gabriel  
  
Kit (former judge)  
  
RANDOM PEOPLE:  
  
Nita*  
  
The Pineapple Army*  
  
Laura~  
  
Sickgirl~  
  
Gwen (MOI!!!!)  
  
Shadowfax  
  
***American Idol-LOTR style: Part 2***  
  
POOFZ!  
  
Nita: *has drunk one too many alcoholic beverages* Yo yo yo! You all you dudes and dudettes let my homie go! Man, peoples here's got attitude for, like....yeah. So, yo!  
  
Everyone: *stare* OH MY GOD!  
  
LOTR PPL: Who's God?  
  
Everyone else: SHUT UP!  
  
Nita: Like, gasp! You totally knocked my homie out of here! He's like, kind of, uh, *pokes Kit* not awake. Dude! I've always wanted to do that! *wobbles*  
  
Stargirl: It was quite easy, actually.  
  
Nita: YOU hurt him? HE HAW! I can beat you out! *strikes a kind of sideways karate pose....then falls over*  
  
Stargirl: HAHA! You think you can defeat me?! HE HE HE HE HE HE!  
  
Nita: UGH! Need more beer! *passes out*  
  
Rachel: Pathetic.  
  
Gabriel: Maybe we should move on???  
  
Twit: Good idea!  
  
Stargirl: *shrug* As long as there's more violence.  
  
Gabriel: *mutters* Don't doubt it.  
  
Twit: Who went last?  
  
Gabriel: Pip.  
  
Pippin: PEREGRIN TOOK, to YOU, Mister Man!  
  
Gabriel: WTF?  
  
Pippin: *mutters, scared* Never mind. Didn't say anything at all.  
  
Gabriel: Good.  
  
Twit: Then I guess Merry goes next.  
  
Stargirl: Where IS Merry?  
  
LOTR people: IN A HOLE!  
  
Merry: SHUCKS! You HAD to give it away, didn't you?  
  
Stargirl: We're waaaaaaiting.  
  
Merry: *crawls out hole* Okay, okay!  
  
Sickgirl: Oooooo! WAIT WAIT! *runs up to Merry and whispers*  
  
Merry: *nods* OKAY!  
  
Sickgirl and Laura: *chuckle*  
  
Merry: Heeeeeeeeeelp me figure out the difference between right and wrong, weak and strong-  
  
Gwen: NO NONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EVIL EVIL EVILLLLLLLLLL!!!! NICK CARTER IS EVIL!  
  
Gabriel: I know Nick Carter. I don't know the song though.  
  
Merry: Don't HURT ME!!!!!!  
  
Gwen: SICKGIRL, YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sickgirl: Suuuuuuuuuure.  
  
Gwen: Try me.  
  
Sickgirl: I already did.  
  
Gwen: ARGGGG! ATTACK!!!!!  
  
POOF!  
  
Laura: Sickgirl, look out! PINEAPPLE ARMY!!!  
  
Sickgirl: Ahhh! Cya, people!  
  
POOF!  
  
Laura: Don't leave me here!!!!  
  
POOF!  
  
Pineapple Army: Gwen, that was it?  
  
Gwen: Uh, yeah. Pretty much.  
  
PA Army: Okay. *sit down on the grass, and watch*  
  
Gwen: Ooookay. You can stay.  
  
Gabriel: Being judges, shouldn't we be JUDGING?  
  
Twit: Oh yeah.  
  
Stargirl: Gabriel, you can go first  
  
Gabriel: I always go first.  
  
Stargirl: Oh yeah. Go anyway.  
  
Gabriel: *rolls eyes* Okay, first Merry, you can't sing.  
  
Merry: *sniff*  
  
Pippin: *calls out* GOOOOO GABRIEL!!!  
  
Merry: *glare*  
  
Pippin: Uhhh.I mean...Boooooo Gabriel!  
  
Gabriel: Second, Merry, I hate Nick Carter. He is hotter than me.  
  
Twit: I'm a MOUSE! The only music I like is bagpipes! Do you expect me to like your song?  
  
Merry: Not really.  
  
Twit: There you go.  
  
Stargirl: Merry, go hit yourself over the head with a stick.  
  
Merry: Why?  
  
Stargirl: Because then I won't do it for you.  
  
Merry: But why do you want to hit me?  
  
Stargirl: Don't talk back!  
  
Merry: *bows head* Yes, of course.  
  
Stargirl: GODDESS!  
  
Merry: Goddess.  
  
Stargirl: Good.  
  
Twit: But you didn't judge.  
  
Stargirl: It sucked, there you go.  
  
Merry: *in distance* Ow! Ow! Ow! *knocks self out* Ooooooh! *falls over*  
  
Pippin: *giggles* Whups! Fellover.  
  
Gabriel: Let's see who's next.  
  
LOTR PEOPLE: *shiver*  
  
Gabriel: Next is....GOLLUM!  
  
Gollum: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT USSSSSSSSSSSSSS, MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!  
  
Gabriel: Go dude.  
  
Gollum: *sulk* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?  
  
Gabriel: I loved it!  
  
Everyone: HUH?  
  
Gabriel: I've actually heard of the song!  
  
Everyone: Oh.  
  
Twit: I understood the song, so it was wonderful.  
  
Stargirl: Uh, uh, go to Las Vegas and join the chucking competition!  
  
Gollum: YIPPEEE! Las Vegassssssssssss, money and many other thingssssssssss that shouldn't be mentioned in front of children *coughssssssssstupidkiddieanimorphssssssssssscough* here we come, my preciousssssssss!!!!!  
  
Animorphs: HEY!  
  
Gollum: *runs away before he is pelted by the Pineapple Army*  
  
Gabriel: *sigh* Stargirl.....  
  
Stargirl: Are you going to complain about me sending him away?  
  
Gabriel: No. You didn't judge.  
  
Stargirl: Oh. It was wonderful.  
  
Gabriel: Next is Ganfluf- I mean, GanDALF. Sorry, dude.  
  
Gandalf: *sniffle* Why am I insulted so?!  
  
Gabriel: I dunno. I'm not writing this.  
  
Gandalf: Go to hell.  
  
Everyone else: *GASP* GANDALF!!!!  
  
Gwen: *big deep voice* Language, Gandalf!  
  
Gandalf: Grrrr..  
  
Twit: Sing!  
  
Gandalf: Ok! *SUNG TO TUNE OF O CHRISTMAS TREE*Oh woe is me/ Oh woe is me/ I used to have a Hamster tree/ But it was eaten by a newt/ And now I have no cuddly fruit/ Oh woe is me/ Oh woe is me/ I used to have a Hamster treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!  
  
Gabriel: I haven't heard-  
  
Gandalf: Oh course not! I made it up!  
  
Gabriel: OH. It was kind of strange, y'know?  
  
Gandalf: *sniffle*  
  
Twit: It's about hamsters and trees, and they're cool, so your song was cool!  
  
Stargirl: Fly away you old fa- HAggot!  
  
Gandalf: Well, EXCUSE ME!  
  
Stargirl: Shoooooo fly dun bother MOI!  
  
Gandalf: *sad face and slinks away*  
  
Stargirl: FINALLY!  
  
Gabriel: Last but not least is-  
  
Bill: SHhh! Don't say my name! Say it in pig latin!  
  
Gabriel: Why?  
  
Bill: Sam might hear! He hears EVERYTHING! *shivers*  
  
Gabriel: *sigh* Ok. Fine. Here is Ill-Bay!  
  
Bill: Shadowfax!  
  
Shadowfax: Of course, sir. *is bodyguard-ish*  
  
Bill: *clear throat* *sings like Christina A.* You are beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuutiful, no matter what they saaaaaaaaaaaaay...Words can't bring you dooooooooown...  
  
Gabriel: AHHHHH! THE MUSIC! STOP THE MUSIC!!!!  
  
Twit: AHHHHHH! Green help us all!!!  
  
Stargirl: *clap clap clap* Good job! You did more damage than I did. I loved it!  
  
Gabriel: HORRIBLE!!!  
  
Twit: HORRID!!!!!  
  
TBCAALT (To Be Continued At A Later Time)  
  
Peace out dudettes and dudes. Dun get an attitude with me! *JOKE!!! JOKE!!!! JOOOOKE!!!*  
  
Review please. Thank you.  
  
By the way, you don't think I would actually let Gollum leave, right? 


	6. American Idol: LOTR style, Part 3 & Good...

LOTR PEOPLE:  
  
Pippin  
  
Merry  
  
Eowyn  
  
Gollum  
  
Gandalf  
  
Bill  
  
ANIMORPHS PEOPLE:  
  
Rachel  
  
Marco  
  
Tobias  
  
David  
  
Crayak  
  
Ax  
JUDGES:  
  
Stargirl~  
  
Twit~  
  
Gabriel~  
  
Kit  
  
Nita  
  
Ephram*  
  
Spike*  
  
RANDOM PEOPLE:  
  
The Pineapple Army  
  
Gwen (MOI!!!!)  
  
Shadowfax  
  
Sam*  
  
Frodo*  
Gwen: Ok, guys. Who's the winner here?  
  
Judges: *discuss.*  
  
Gwen: Please note, do not chase Bill away-  
  
Bill: You said my name! YOU SAID THE NAME!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!  
  
POOF!  
  
Sam: Bill! MY BEST FRIEND!  
  
Frodo: Hey!  
  
Sam: Uhhhhhh...ONE of my best friends! I found you!!!!!!!!!! *gives Bill hugs*  
  
Bill: Ugh...Ugh...*faints*  
  
Sam: *gasp*  
  
Rachel: *looks over* He looks ready for the ICU..  
  
Marco: *poke* Uh.. you should put him over there with that Nita girl and Kit.  
  
David: *good idea*  
  
Bill: *magically appears in top of the growing pile of bodies*  
  
Gwen: *sigh* Ok, moving on. The judges should have a winner now.  
  
Gabriel: Yes! Drum roll please  
  
*Drum roll*  
  
Gabriel: And the winner is...*puts up card that says GOLLUM*  
  
Twit: Oh, we need a card?! *writes card quickly* *whispers* Gabriel, what did you put?  
  
Gabriel: Gollum.  
  
Twit: Ok, thanks. *puts up card. It says: GOLUM!*  
  
Stargirl: Uhhh.okokokok.I give in. The stupid Gollum wins, lets move it along.  
  
Gwen: Ok, since you guys were horrible-I mean wonderful judges you can go home.  
  
Gabriel: YAY! I GET TO GO HOME! I GET TO GO BACK TO JAIL- wait, that's not a good thing, is it?  
  
Gwen: No.  
  
Gabriel: Oh. *Is dejected*  
  
Twit: What's going to happened to Kit?  
  
Gwen: *shrugs*  
  
Twit: Ok, who cares.  
  
Kit: Heard that!  
  
Nita: You're awake!  
  
Kit: You are too, how'd you get here?  
  
Nita: I dunno. I was making out with a guy- at least I THINK it was a guy- and suddenly I was here..Well, I was GOING to make out with a guy. Or girl, not sure yet.  
  
Gwen: Uh, Nita, we didn't need to know that.  
  
Nita: Oh. Ok.  
  
Everyone: *shake head*  
  
Gwen: Ok, Nita and Kit, you guys can be judges. The only reason Nita is still here is because she only needs to judge two songs.  
  
Nita: That was insulting.  
  
Gwen: Where's Gollum anyway?  
  
Stargirl: Las Vegas.  
  
Gwen: Oh, forgot about you guys. Bye!  
  
Gabriel: No wait-  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: Ok, so Gollum's in Las Vegas.  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: Sorry, wrong tense. WAS in Las Vegas.  
  
Gollum: Hey! I wasssssssssssssss usssssssssssssssssing up all my money of a casssssssssssssssino! YOU CAN'T DO THISsssssssssssss TO ME!  
  
Gwen: Gollum, you don't have any money.  
  
Gollum: That's what YOU think *pout*  
  
Gwen: Ok, here's just some guy that's gonna be here, ok? Random guy..  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: Oh my god! IT'S SPIKE!!!!! *screams and runs in circles*  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: AHHHHHHHHh! OH MY GOD, IT'S EPHRAM!!!!!!!! *launches self*  
  
Ephram: Oof!  
  
Gwen: GIVE ME YOUR AUTOGRAPH! I LOVE YOU!!!  
  
Ephram: Who are you? How'd I get here?  
  
Spike: Bloody hell!  
  
Ephram: And who the fuck is this dude?  
  
Gwen: Spike. From BtVS. You know, TV?  
  
Spike: BLOODY HELL!  
  
Pippin: *whispers to Merry* I think it's code!  
  
Mery: I think it's a curse in a different dialect than the one we are speaking right now.  
  
Pippin: OK, WHAAAAAATEVER! Like, whatever.  
  
Spike: BLOOOOOOODY HELL!  
  
Gwen: You can stop saying that now.  
  
Ephram: *pokes Spike* Is he real?  
  
Spike: *using kewl English accent* Yes, idiot!  
  
Ephram: Well, I'm not a freakin sheet, am I?  
  
Rachel: Actually, you are.  
  
Ephram: shut up.  
  
Rachel: oh yea?! *launches self*  
  
~*~Later~*~  
  
Ephram: Ugh *is almost dead but still so hott*  
  
Gwen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!  
  
Rachel: Job completed!  
  
Gwen: ATTACK! PINEAPPLE ARMY! GO!  
  
Pineapple Army: Here we again.*run over Rachel*  
  
Rachel: AHHHH-*squish*  
  
Tobias: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My love! *run over to Rachel sobbing* *v dramatic*  
  
Rachel: Never forget me...  
  
Tobias: Noo! Don't leave me!  
  
Rachel: I love y-  
  
Tobias: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Gwen: *taps shoulder*  
  
Tobias: WHAT?! I'm trying to be sad and dramatic here!  
  
Gwen: Sorry to interrupt, but she's taking a nap..  
  
Tobias: *looks down at Rachel* Oh.  
  
Gwen: Yea.  
  
*Silence*  
  
Tobias: Ok.  
  
Gwen: *dances* Heeeeeeey.Will you stay a whiiiile..my smile will not mislead yooooou.Cos I've been alone, My fate turned to stone..  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Gwen: Hey, I love Third Eye Blind!  
  
Everyone: oooookay.  
  
Gwen: Let's just go on with this, eh?  
  
Sam: With what?  
  
Shadowfax: ATTACK SAM!  
  
Sam: AHHHH! GANFLUFF-DALF, I MEAN, HELP ME! CONTROL YOUR HORSE!!!!!  
  
Ganfluff:I will not do such- hey! MY NAME IS WRONG AGAIN!  
  
REWRITE: Gandalf: I will not do such a thing!  
  
Gandalf: Better...  
  
POOF!  
  
Garth Nix: Where am I? *stares at everyone*  
  
Gwen: MY WORLD! *cackles*  
  
Garth Nix: who are YOU?!  
  
Gwen: GASP! I ask for respect..even though you showed me no respect when you took more than five months to write Abhorsen! HUH! ANSWER THE QUESTION!  
  
Garth Nix: There was question.  
  
Gwen: Oh.  
  
Gollum: Can I win now?  
  
Rachel: HEY!  
  
Gollum: Don't start with me.  
  
Rachel: OH YEAH!  
  
Gollum: Ok, here I go: *music begins* Every thought that I repent there's another chip you haven't spent And your cashing them all in. Where do we begin to get clean again. Can we get clean again? I walk home, alone with you. And the mood your born into sometime you let me in and I take in on the chin. I can't get clean. I wanna know can we get clean again? The god of wine comes crashing through the headlights of a car. That took u farther than u thought you'd ever wanna go.  
  
Everone: WOW!  
  
Gollum: That sssssssshowssssss YOU!  
  
Rachel: Oh yeah?! : You can't resist her. She's in your bones. She is your marrow and your ride home. You can't avoid her. She's in the air. In between molecules of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Only in dreams you see what it means. Reach our ours hands hold on to hers. But when we wake it's all been erased. And so it seems only in dreams. You walk up to her. Ask her to dance. She says hey maybe I just might the chance. You say it's a good thing. That you float in the air. That way there's no way I will crush your pretty toenails to a thousand pieces.  
  
Everyone: WOW!  
  
Rachel: HA!  
  
Gwen: This will be a tough decision for us all!  
  
Gwen, Nita, Kit, Ephram [half dead still] and Spike: *gather and talk*  
  
Nita: I vote Gollum. I love wine.  
  
Kit: I vote Rachel. I want to go against Nita.  
  
Ephram: I vote Rachel. I feel the same way about Amy.  
  
Gwen: UGH! How can you still LIKE Amy?!  
  
Spike: I vote Gollum. I like wine and small green men.  
  
Gwen: So it's up to me?  
  
Kit: That's about it.  
  
Gwen: Ok! I have idea! *whisper*  
  
Judges: OK!  
  
Gwen: *come out of suddenly appearing tent* Here is what the prize was! *shows little medal thing*  
  
Gollum and Rachel: WOW!  
  
Gwen: But since you were both so good, I'm going to break it half and give each of you one half! *breaks into halves and gives the pieces out*  
  
Rachel: But now it's worthless!  
  
Gwen: It was worthless in the first place. It's made of aluminum foil.  
  
Gollum: DAMN! *mutters* but I will get that other piece anyway! MUHAHA!  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Gollum: Nothing!  
  
Everyone: ok!  
  
What if Gollum's plan? This chapter is called Goodbye Part One, but why has anyone said goodbye? This questions will be answered soon. 


	7. Goodbye, Part 2

LOTR PEOPLE:  
  
Pippin~  
  
Merry~  
  
Eowyn  
  
Gollum~  
  
Gandalf~  
  
Bill~  
  
ANIMORPHS PEOPLE:  
  
Rachel  
  
Marco  
  
Tobias  
  
David  
  
Crayak~  
  
Ax~  
JUDGES:  
  
Kit~  
  
Nita~  
  
Ephram~  
  
Spike~  
  
RANDOM PEOPLE:  
  
The Pineapple Army~  
  
Gwen (MOI!!!!)  
  
Shadowfax~  
  
Sam~  
  
Frodo~ Garth Nix~  
  
~*~*Goodbye to You*~*~  
  
Gollum: *knocks Gwen unconscious* MUHAHA! NOW THISSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSTORY ISSSSSSSSSS UNDER MY CONTROL! MUHAHA!  
  
Everyone: GASP!  
  
*Gwen magically appears on top of Bill*  
  
Shadowfax: Nooo.I'm fading..I'm faaaaaaaaaading.Bill! Heeeeeeeelp me! *fades*  
  
FADE!  
  
Everyone: huh?  
  
Gollum: HAHA! That'sssssssssssss how I'll get rid of everyone! EVERYONE WILL NOT GO POOF! They'll fade!  
  
Pineapple Army: We must save her! *Attack Gollum*  
  
Pineaple Army: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
FADE!  
  
LOTR People: *huddle in fear*  
  
Ani-People: *huddle in fear*  
  
Judges: *huddle in fear*  
  
Gollum: I'll sssssstart with Ssssssssam, Frodo and Garth Nix!  
  
Garth Nix: C'mon! I'm just an author!  
  
Gwen: Damn awesome one!  
  
Gollum: hello? Unconssssssssssssciousssss?  
  
Gwen: oh yeah. *unconscious*  
  
Gollum: FRODO! THISSSSSSS ISSSSSSSSS WHAT YOU GET FOR SSSSSSSSTEALING MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSS!  
  
Frodo: NOOoooooooooooo! NO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!  
  
POOF!  
  
Frodo/Eljah Wood Fan Clubbers: NO! I will not allow this horrible act to continue! DO NOT TOUCH A SINGLE HAIR ON THIS BEAUTIFUL HUCK O' HOUND'S HEAD!  
  
Gollum: AH! Clubbersssssssss! My phobia!  
  
Clubbers: *steal Frodo*  
  
Sam: No! My boyfriend! *Looks around* Uh, sorry. BEST friend! *follows Clubbers and they all fade away in the distance[not same as Gollum's FADE! That's painfully slow. And painful.]*  
  
Gollum: *peaks* Are they gone? YESSSSSS, they are!  
  
Garth Nix: Help me!  
  
Gollum: ah, yesssssssss! I sssssstill have you!  
  
Garth Nix: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
POOF!  
  
Garth Nix's Superhero Man [aka, that guy from the Seventh Tower whose name I forgot, aka SM]: NEVER! *steals Garth Nix as trophy*  
  
Garth Nix: No! AH! SAVE ME! They're gonna skin me!  
  
SM: Hehe, too late!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gollum: NOOOOOO! I've losssssssssssssst my first victimssssssssssssss! But not no more! *turns to Judges* MUHAHA!  
  
Judges: AH!  
  
Nita: I'm sober enough to do a spell. Kit?  
  
Kit: Yea!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gollum: Arg.  
  
Ephram: I have no powers..Except for:  
  
DUN DUN DUN  
  
Ephram: My magical hotness!  
  
Gollum: it buuurnsssss! It burnssssss!  
  
Ephram: MUHAHAHA! *escapes to kiss Amy* *hammer falls on them both BY MISTAKE!*  
  
Ephram: UGH! x.x  
  
Spike: BLOODY HELL!  
  
POOF!  
  
Willow: Let's go Spike. I'm getting you out of here.  
  
Spike: About bloody time.  
  
Willow: Don't worry, by the time you get home you can kiss Buffy again.  
  
Spike: hey!  
  
Willow: Let's just leave!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gollum: No more judgesssssss? WAH! Ok, I'll have to settle for the Ani- People then.  
  
Ani-People: NOOOOO!  
  
POOF!  
  
Ellimist: I'll save you-  
  
*BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM*  
  
Ellimist: *gurgle* faints  
  
Gollum: *puts away machine gun* I am SSSSSSSSSICK of people coming to sssssssssssssave thesssssssse dipsssssssshitssssssssss-  
  
Everyone left: GASP! CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!  
  
Gollum: Oopsssssssiesssssssssss?  
  
Lotr and Ani people: DIE! *attack Gollum*  
  
Gollum: AHHHHH MOMMY! *shrivels up*  
  
AFTERMATH OF BATTLE:  
  
Gandalf and Ax: Unconcious.  
  
Pippin and Merry and David and Marco: Drunk  
  
Crayak and Eowyn: Cackling evilly  
  
Rachel and Tobias: Making out  
  
Gollum: MIA  
  
Voice: SO that is how Gollum's plan failed.  
  
Pippin and Marco: Like, DUH!  
  
Voice: Then, when everyone is sober and actually paying attention to someone besides each other *coughcoumaybeitstobiasandrachelghcough* they celebrate  
  
Everyone conscious: LET'S CELEBRATE! *drink wine and get drunk again*  
  
Eowyn: *cackles evilly*  
  
Crayak: I can cackle soooo much better than that!  
  
Eowyn: Oh yeah?! CACCCCCCCCCCCCKELELELELLELELELLELELELELELELELEEEEE!  
  
Crayak: Pathetic! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Eowyn: Whoanessesly!  
  
Crayak: I know.*bows-and gets hit over the head with a pan*  
  
Eowyn: hehe!  
  
Voice: Suddenly everyone unconscious disappears [Gandalf, Ax, Bill, Crayak and Gwen]  
  
Gwen: NO! I'm telling this story!  
  
REWRITE: Voice: Suddenly everyone except Gwen unconscious disappears [Gandalf, Ax, Bill and Crayak]  
  
Gwen: *wakes up* Who's left?  
  
Rachel: me!  
  
Tobias: ME!  
  
Gwen: wait! Rachel, weren't you sleeping?  
  
Rachel: Well, if your boyfriend as making out with you, you'd wake up too!  
  
Gwen: Very true.  
  
Merry: Ereh!  
  
Pippin: HERERERERE!  
  
Marco: ehe?  
  
David: EI EI EI O!  
  
Eowyn: *cackles*  
  
Gwen: That's.uh..uh.uh.seven!  
  
Merry and Pippin: SUMO WRESTLERS!! *try wrestling but both get knocked out and disappear*  
  
FADE!  
  
Gwen: Make that five.  
  
What else will happen? How else will Gwen make the remaining people leave ASAP? Don't change that dial..tone..get it? Modem? Forget it! 


	8. How It All Ended

LOTR PEOPLE:  
  
Eowyn~  
  
Aragorn*  
  
Legolas*  
  
ANIMORPHS PEOPLE:  
  
Rachel~  
  
Marco  
  
Tobias~  
  
David  
  
Jake*~  
  
Cassie*~  
  
RANDOM PEOPLE:  
  
Gwen (MOI!!!!)  
  
*~*~How The End Comes~*~*  
  
Rachel: Gwen has nothing to say.  
  
Gwen: That's true.  
  
Marco: Then what do we do?  
  
Gwen: Well, I could always make you guys go to the loo or smoke a fag..  
  
Everyone: WTF?!  
  
Gwen: SIGH! A fag is a cigarette. The loo is a toilet. Not the other meanings perverts.  
  
Everyone: ok.  
  
Marco: *raises hand* Are the fags free?  
  
Gwen: I guess. I mean, if it costs to type the word of a page, then no. If typing is free, then yes.  
  
David: YAY! FAGS FOR EVERYONE! *hands out fags*  
  
Eowyn: GASP! I dropped my cigarette in a forest and started a forest fire!  
  
Marco: HA HA! She's getting arrested!  
  
Eowyn: Kiddies! The lesson is never throw your cigarette where there are leaves or you'll start a fire!  
  
POOF!  
  
Gwen: Bye Bye Eowyn  
  
POOF!  
  
POOF!  
  
Tobias: Hey! It's Jake *drag* Cool.  
  
Jake: Hey guys. I just came back from rehab. I'm all better now!  
  
Rachel: Why were you *drag* sent away anyway?  
  
Jake: How should I know? Gwen doesn't rememeber.  
  
Tobias: wow.  
  
Cassie: Hey, me too!  
  
Jake: CASSIE!  
  
Cassie: JAKE!  
  
Jake and Cassie: *start making out*  
  
Marco: Wow, I didn't know Cassie had a tongue that long.  
  
David: I didn't know Jake had a mouth that big.  
  
Gwen: Ok, Jake. Cassie, sorry but BREAK IT UP!  
  
Marco: Hey, didn't you people notice that all of the LOTR are gone?  
  
Gwen: Hey, how did THAT happen?  
  
Marco: It's YOUR story, man.  
  
Gwen: Hey! I say man! You can say...dude.  
  
Marco: But I LIKE man  
  
Gwen: I like it better!  
  
Marco: Nu uh!  
  
Gwen: Oh yeah?!  
  
Marco: YEAH!  
  
Rachel: *drag* doesn't that mean we win?  
  
Marco: What, the fact that I use man and not Gwen? That makes us win?  
  
Rachel: *rolls her eyes* No, stupid. The fact that there are no more LOTR left.  
  
POOF!  
  
Aragorn: MAHA! I am back for revenge! And I have Legolas and his Blonde Hair with me!  
  
Legolas: Yeah. I use Herbal Essence.  
  
Aragorn: I need you to change me back into a king with manly stubble.  
  
Gwen: Excuse me? Manly stubble??  
  
Aragorn: Yes.  
  
Gwen: NEVER! I hate you Aragorn. I don't know why but I don't like you.  
  
Marco: I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard I try keep that in mind, I desin-  
  
Gwen: SHUT UP! Don't disgrace Linkin Park, Marco.  
  
Marco:...Ok.....  
  
Aragorn: *takes out sword* Legolas, attack!  
  
Gwen: *laugh* What's he's gonna do? W-  
  
SLAP!  
  
Gwen: AHHh! LEGOLAS BITCH SLAPPED ME WITH HIS HAIR!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!  
  
Tobias: Whoa.  
  
Rachel: I want that kind of hair!!!  
  
Tobias: Jeez.  
  
Legolas: Ah! Use twelve bottles of Herbal Essence a night and this is what you get!  
  
Aragorn: HAHA! Now what do you have to say?  
  
Gwen: NEVER!  
  
Aragorn: Then you give me no choice. Legolas!  
  
Legolas: My pleasure!  
  
Gwen: *gag* AHHH! Stop *gag* choking me with your hair!!  
  
Legolas: MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Gwen: x.x  
  
David: GASP! *drag* You killed her!!!!!!!!  
  
Jake: You're kidding me. I thought she was unbeatable!!!  
  
Cassie: So did I.  
  
Aragorn: SO did I!!! NOW I'M GOING TO BE OLD MCDONALD FOREVER!!! AHHHH! *runs off a cliff*  
  
Legolas: Aragorn? COME BACK!!! *follows*  
  
POOF!  
  
Boromir: Yo, peeps. What's new?  
  
Tobias: Dude, how'd you get here without Gwen to make you go POOF?  
  
Boromir: Some part of her lives on in us.  
  
Marco: Shut the fuck up, I LIKED Gwen.  
  
Tobias: 0o0o0o0o0o0o! Someone's got a crush!  
  
Marco: Fuck you! Gwen's fuckin dead!  
  
Rachel: Can we dump her in the river or something?  
  
Tobias: and then have her real murderer come and try to kill us for killing her even though we thought she was someone else? No thank you!  
  
Rachel: Someone's watched 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' one too many times.  
  
Tobias: You know it.  
  
Rachel: HAHA! *kiss kiss*  
  
Aragorn: Real cute. Come on, get in the car.  
  
Cassie: What car?  
  
POOF!  
  
Legolas: This car.  
  
Jake: This is a bus.  
  
Aragorn: OKAY! BUS!!!  
  
Everyone: *gets on bus*  
  
David: The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round, round and round!  
  
Marco: All through the town...  
  
David: You are being SO depressing, Marco!  
  
Jake: He's trying to get over the fact Gwen's dead.  
  
Marco: Shut up.  
  
David: YOU shut up. I am so fucking sick of your antics!  
  
Marco: Gr.  
  
Cassie: Peace! *drag*  
  
David: Where'd you get the cig from?  
  
Cassie: Rachel.  
  
Rachel: Yeah!  
  
Jake: Cassie, will you marry me?  
  
Cassie: OKAY!  
  
Jake: YAY! Let's run away to Mexico and elope!  
  
Cassie: OKAY!!!!  
  
Jake: Hey, Araporn-  
  
Aragorn: It's KING Aragorn to YOU!  
  
Jake: Okay, whatever, KING Araporn, me n Cass are going to Mexico to elope okay?  
  
Aragorn: Okay, fine whatever.  
  
Jake: YES! Let's go!  
  
Cassie n Jake: *run away*  
  
Tobias: That's the only way to get out of here? OK!! Rachel, marry me?  
  
Rachel: I thought you'd never ask!  
  
Tobias: *grin* Love you too.  
  
Rachel: *kiss kiss kiss*  
  
Tobias: *kiss kiss KISS*  
  
Rachel: *KISS kiss KISS*  
  
Tobias: *KISS KISS KISS*  
  
Marco: Jesus Christ, break IT UP!  
  
Tobias: *ignores him and continues*  
  
Rachel: *French kissing*  
  
Tobias: *arms around her*  
  
Marco: GET A FUCKIN ROOM!  
  
David: Hey, this is very interesting to watch...  
  
Marco: Shut up.  
  
Tobias: FINE! Let's go, Rach!  
  
Rachel: *takes his hand*  
  
Rachel and Tobias: *run off and fall into the grass and make out*  
  
Marco: Okay, now it's just you and me, Dave.  
  
Aragorn: And me.  
  
Legolas: And me!  
  
David: Don't even think about kissing me Marco. I am not gay.  
  
Marco: AHHHH! DIE!!!  
  
David: *falls out window*  
  
SPLAT!  
  
Marco: FINALLY!  
  
Legolas: Hi honey....  
  
Marco: Are you talking to ME?!  
  
Legolas: Uh, NO! I'm talking to my honeybun...*pats hair*  
  
Marco: Oh my fucking god...*throws self out of window* David, wait for MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Aragorn: Hey, why am I still driving?  
  
Legolas: Want to go to Disney World?  
  
Aragorn: Sure! I love Mickey Mouse.  
  
Legolas: Okay! It's a small world after all, it's a small, small woooooorld!!!  
  
*FADE OUT*  
  
THE END!!!!!!!  
  
FOR REAL!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: Be glad I'm finally done. Cheer. 


End file.
